Thailand Practical Guides

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Practicalities

The Arrival Card That Costs Nothing and Stops People at the Border

I have watched a queue of twenty people find out that the arrival card is mandatory, at the counter, with a departure flight in four hours.

Abstract illustration of a suitcase, a motorbike helmet and a temple spire in a calm travel still life, deep teal and gold

Practicalities

Twenty Things Nobody Tells You Before You Land in Thailand

The motorbike rental counter is the most profitable scam in the country and almost everyone gets caught by it, because the warning is always in a language you do not speak at that moment.

Street Food

What I Actually Eat in Bangkok, and the Twelve Things I Do Not

After eleven years of eating in this city I have a short list and a long list, and the two lists have almost nothing in common with the ones in the guidebooks.

Flat illustration of a scooter parked outside a rental shop with a passport and a set of keys on the counter, deep teal and gold

Practicalities

The Motorbike Deposit Scam, and the Two Words That End It

I have watched a man lose 8,000 baht in eleven minutes over a photocopy, and I have seen the same argument end in thirty seconds because he said 'photo first'.

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Money & Costs

The 220 Baht Your Bank Does Not Tell You About

Every fee at a Thai ATM is in baht, printed nowhere, and charged per withdrawal rather than per transaction, which is why a 500 baht withdrawal costs you more than a 5,000 baht one.

Flat illustration of a temple gate with a sign and a folded sarong waiting on a bench, deep teal and gold

Temples & Culture

The Temple Rule Nobody Writes Down, and the Fine That Enforces It

The sign at the gate says shoulders and knees covered. It does not say that the enforcement is done by an uncle with a roll of tape who will absolutely wrap your knee without asking you first.

Flat illustration of an arrival form on a phone next to a passport at an airport desk, deep teal and gold

Visas & Immigration

What Happens If Your Arrival Card Does Not Match Your Passport

A typo in the TDAC is not a fine. But a wrong passport number at immigration is a fifteen-minute conversation with someone who can end your trip.

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Islands & Beaches

How to Book a Longtail Boat Without Paying Twice

A charter for four people to the islands should cost between 1,200 and 2,500 baht for the day. If you are being quoted per person, or told the fuel is extra, you are being quoted the tourist price.

Flat illustration of a commuter boat on the Chao Phraya river with temple spires and a skyline behind, deep teal and gold

Slow Travel

The Chao Phraya Boat Is the Best Transport in Bangkok and Nobody Uses It

Eleven baht, fifteen minutes, and a view of the city most people pay four hundred baht to see from a rooftop bar. The reason the river is empty of foreigners is that nobody explains it.

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Practicalities

The Thai Phrases That Get You Further Than Google Translate

I have watched a tourist say 'khop khun' nineteen times in a day and still leave Thailand able to buy nothing, argue about nothing and know when a motorbike driver was being polite or sarcastic.

Flat illustration of a mobile phone showing a SIM tray and data bars beside a passport, deep teal and gold

Practicalities

Buy the SIM Card at the Airport, Then Immediately Do This

The airport SIM is more expensive than the city SIM by about 40 per cent, and the difference buys you one thing: not missing a flight home because a taxi driver had the wrong number.

Flat illustration of a dense market lane with clothing racks, stall awnings and a tangle of overhead wires, deep teal and gold

Street Food

Chatuchak Is Not a Market, It Is 15,000 Shops and a Survival Test

Fifteen thousand stalls across a square kilometre, open Saturdays and Sundays only, and the single most common mistake is arriving at three in the afternoon expecting a market and getting a heatwave.